big fish...
i have been thrown from just finishing the very first dance you learn as an odissi dancer into learning one of the last, and difficult dances.

the odissi food chain befuddles me. i feel as if i am hardly keeping up.
i feel the honor of being thrown in with the big fish, and really i work the best when under pressure, but between me and you sometimes its a daunting thing.
i mean i am literally dancing all day 6 days a week. i look forward to sunday as i've never looked forward to a day off before. i love it, but it can't always be love and confidence. i wouldn't say i'm doubting myself either, but this is definitly turning into an exercise of shutting out the ego.
i can feel it waiting for me, to not work hard enough, to not understnad a step and replicate it quickly enough.
i saw a man hit a cow with his car the other day. i was told that if you kill a cow in india that is one of the worst things for your after life. people will turn themselves into beggars for a few years to try and cancel out the bad karma they've accumulated from this act.
crazy india.
we've ordered our professional odissi outfits for our feb 24th program. i love being part of a studio, to be working to create a very unique performance in an amazing place.
our dresses have to be specially made in Orissia where Odissi originated by a man who's only job is making odissi dresses. this is costing me a few hundred dollars, for one dress. i really don't think i've spent that much on one artical of clothing EVER! but seeing how we will be swarmed with the media it's probably important to look my best!