it takes 2 to tango or jumped by da roaches

so i really haven't been doing much sight seeing the past few days, mostly just reconnecting with a childhood friend. my friend kristina whom i have known now for almost 20 yrs lives here in thailand, i think i've said this already but it is my blog so deal with it!!

yeah, so we've known each other for a long time, but it is so strange, we just decided that if we just met randomly now we would never be friends. we are like night and day, it is amazing that we can stand each others company, but somehow it works. she is off taking her lsat's right now and dreaming of law school and working with prision reform, while i am working at clearing my mind of everything i've ever known.
we have played it cool the past two days and been light in conversation so she is fully prepaired for her test, but after this it's on. we will do are favorite activity of drinking red wine, or home brewed thai whiskey, and talking shit...deep down dirty shit. we've started in the past few days but always cut it off. it is to heavy to talk about life, love, religion, spirituality, and the pursuit of fullfilment this close to a big test.

so in part of the relaxation process we went to get a massage together. the only time i ever recieved a massage was after a car accident, and those were short and not that often, so i didn't really know what to expect. then yesterday we went and had an hour hot oil massage. as i understand it this is different then traditional thai massage because it is more about making the muscles loose, and not about making the joints flexable. i've had neither so i was down for the expereince.

right. so when they say full body massage they are not kidding! they mean back, neck, shoulders, arms, butt, stomach, breasts. i think the only thing they didn't massage was basically my labia. yup you read it right. everything but the labia, even my crack got a little action, suprise! when they were massaging my ass i felt like i was really there for a wedgie removal, little on the ticklish side!i think i saw more action from theses thai ladies than i have in the past few months. i really felt like i needed to send her flowers or take her out for dinner after that massage.


kristina and i had to wear paper hats and paper panties and we were put in a room together divided by a curtain, i felt like we were going into surgery with only a blanket over me and the AC set to blizzard. i told her i thought we were really going to swap out kidneys or have babies together and they would be wheeling us out shortly. but no i was wrong, thank god. but because we were friends they threw back the curtain so we could share this naked, semi invasive experience with each other. nothing like seeing your childhood hood friend flat on her back in onlt a paper hat and pannies. i don't know what they though, that we could talk while we got massaged.

i thought my lady was going to kill me, she looked like a nice young grandmother with glasses and bright pink lipstick, but she was definitly no softy!
half an hour into it i didn't know if i liked it or wanted to go home i don't really think i had a choice at that moment so hung in there, in the end it was good. i found it really hard to take direction from a lady when we don't speak the same language so it was like what, turn over? what spread my legs wider? what are you trying to do to me?? kristina was there with some interpretation skills, but mostly i was left on my own. i think she wanted to protect me from the comments they were making about our bodies. the women were both really into my tattoos, and were not shy about pushing me around to get a better look at them.
my iron fisted grandma did however suprise me at the end as she was washing the oil of my body, she smiled so sweetly and grabbed my breast and said, "oh very nice little pink nipples" i was like, oh shit the broad does speak english. then she laughed and left the room. i had to double check with my partner in crime if i had heard right, oh yeah i did. she turned her head so as not to witness the gropping of the breast, but the words where there. oddly enough i fely quite please, perhaps a little violated, but more just shocked and amused at the situation.
it reminded me of one of those embarassing grandma stories when girls are just getting boobs. i never had one of those to share, but now i have this.


later that night we hung out at peace corps office and ordered in pizza and watched movies, i felt like i was in america. not that i'm missing america yet, but i'm down to do whatever on this trip.
the walk home was a different story. it was semi late, 10pm! goodbye jetlag, and there was heat lightning in the sky, something i kept stopping to watch and then having to run and catch up with kristina and emily, another volunteer. so as i'm running i am suddenly hit by what i think is a falling leaf. oh if only i had kept that preciouse thought in my mind...yes a beautiful hard brown leaf drifting on the wind during a storm of heat lightning. it's when the leaf hit my arm and stuck that i thought i might be in trouble.
i took my left hand to brush away at the "leaf" stuck to my upper right arm, and hit resistance. a hard segmented brown body was clinging to my arm. i hit harder and it was flung against a near by wall, all in a flutter. oh yeah big daddy cockroach coming to say hi. i didn't scream but was overwhelemed by what is commenly known as the heebe-jeebes. i looked at the fluttering roach on the wall and looked at the ground as another one darted for my foot. like a roach sixth sense they knew to come after me.
so i did a wild interpritive dance that anyone trying to conjure up spirits, or get rid of a roach attack would be proud of. of course i ran myself rather close to the street, and thought that by throwing myself in front of a tuk-tuk at least the fear and the heebee-jeebees would be gone. but my body reactions, that are much better than my mind reactions, stopped me from commiting such a foolish act, but i remained jumpy the rest of the way home.

so tonight i say good bye to bagkok for a couple of weeks. which is good. i've written a lot but not thought as much as i would like to. i feel myself unwinding, and know i'll be able to think soon. so far i am to busy, bangkok is to busy, and i love this kind of visual stimmulation. it shuts everything else out.

i am reading the alchemist over and over again and finding something new everytime i read it. i am making plans for the next few weeks, but i am working on being quiet, on being not planned out, working on being here with the people and the heat, and the smells(which are killing me!).
it is such an amazing place i am, and not just in a physical sense.

i am still promising pictures, because i already have a ton...just not the capability to upload them.

it is early yet today so i'm off to explore.

farang in paradise or how a gecko almost killed me

alright so i've made contact with kristina.i meet her at a random 7-11 cross town. i had to show the tuk tuk driver the spelling of the area, because i am a farang and i can't speak thai. the driver was crazy... oh well let me back up.

my jet lag is still alive and well.i woke up at 2am again and was so full of energy i danced around my room with my ipod. silly yes, but i was alone, and while writing blogs i really don't feel like anyone is reading them. so yeah dancing around the room till the ipod dies, and it always does because the battery sucks.

so i need to pee. i sneek out in the hall in my wrap and almost step on a little gecko, poor little yellow guy. it reminds me of sleepiing in a hut in hawaii and getting bit by a cockroach, and then the gecko's came out and protected me. well no bad bugs so far but it is always comforting to see geckos. so i side step the little guy, who doesn't move, and go into a bathroom stall. of course on the floor is something small that moves WAY to fast...i do a little scardy cat dance backwards into the main bathroom. yeah just another gecko. little bastard gave me a heart attack...

then it's finally 7am and i go the the bar/cafe next door. i am the only one having breakfast, and am placed between two tables with european men and thai women. they are drunk and all over eachother and talk constantly about sex. i want to talk to these girls and get the low down on what they really think. kristina was telling me it's all about the money. that when they go to get married there is a dowery that starts at one million baht, so like uh $25,000 i think....i took her word for it and didn't do the math.

then this guy turns to me and ignors his thai chicks, he has two, and tells me a depressing story of living in thailand for two years and losing his thai wife and children somehow, and his brother was murdered in london and he is going home. poor guy i don't blame him for being drunk. i said some really useless bullshit and ran off to catch a ride.

so yeah my tuk tuk driver was so funny. when i told him where i wanted to go he didn't understand me, so he calls all his friends over and they don't understand me, so i show them the name written down. it takes a couple of minutes and they start laughing and being thai men, and i get in the tuk tuk. this guy is crazy, he has an infectious and constant laugh, he's swearving in and out of oncoming traffic, shooting several snot rockets along they way, like a trail of crumbs to follow back. he chats with me incesently and then laughs. i can't help but laugh but more at the situation than anything else.

so i meet kristina, a little thai lady helps me dial they pay phone because i'm obviously a farang, or non thai, and therefor disabled.

nothing much more exciting for the day, it's past four and i'm still awake! kristina takes her LSAT on sunday, and we are going for a two hour oil massage tomorrow, and she has promised to go to a pingpong ball show with me in the red light, but i think it will wait till next time we are in bangkok...

it is so fun to meet up with her here. peace corps is paying for our room so we have AC and our own bathroom. oh yeah living the life.

so that's it for now, i'll be headed north on sunday night, headed for the boarder of loas and thailand. kristina told her village about me. told them i sold everything and a looking for the meaning of life, they want me to study meditation at their temple, so we'll see how it goes.

so wat po or water in the face

okay so as not to pass out here i am writing another blog. i skipped my afternoon beer and had some ice cream instead, cold and sweet, but a little too sweet.

so after i left you i headed out for wat po, wat po houses one of the largest sleeping buddhas in the world. wow. i mean WOW! it has to be one of the most amazing things ever. i am probably the size of one of his fingers. he looks so lovely too. i hate the fact that christ was strung up and tortured then he ascended into heaven. buddha, yeah he was happy and just feel asleep. i've seen so many different buddhas the past few days and some of them are so handsome, their faces so sweet and loving, eyes half slitted, i think i have eyes like a buddha. people always thought i was stoned, but i was really in a state of nirvana! ha!

so i ended up taking a motorcycle taxi to wat po, something i didn't entend on doing, especially because my hair wouldn't fit under a helmet. so there i am sitting on a bike, no helmet behind a thai man that is roughly my size. now traffic here isn't as bad as say nepal, but it's still pretty fucking crazy.
yeah so i'm trying to be cool and not clutch at the poor man for my dear life, i use one hand to hold him and one on the seat behind me, finally i'm brave enough for both hands behind me, but clamp my thighs as tight as they can get. i just remeber him swearving into oncoming traffic to get around a traffic jam and knowing this could be my last breath. oh yeah it was a thrill ride. so he got me there safe and sound, that's that.

i went in and had my religious experience and then of course someone starts talking to me, and damn you mom and dad for raising me to be polite, because i have to talk back. so he wants to lead me of somewhere and show me something, so i go. duh. so he takes me to this house on the grounds where a monk is living, the guy invites me in and ties a holy charm around my wrist, he says a prayer as he does it and has me kneel and then starts shaking this branch like stick full of water at me. it of course hits me straight on in the face, and my poor holga is in my lap, so i lean forward to protect it, and get more water. he then wants to sell me grossly priced amulets and asks a donation for his blessing.

that's one thing i will never get over, be it eastern or western, religious people that are in it for something other than fulfilment. i mean i've seen it before in my travels where babas come up and bless you and then want money, and it happened again today, but i mean come on, blessings should be free. it just urks me when people use spirituality for material gain.

okay give me a minute to get off my high horse. much better. so i don't know bangkok that well, but i can already tell it's missing a good park. what i wouldn't give to stretch out on the grass about now. so much hustle and bustle and no beautiful down time, but soon. yes very soon.

left at the alter or jetlag really blows

it is 10 am on thursday morning here in the backpackers row of bangkok, and i can't tell you how fucking glad i am it's morning.

yesterday i started early with my siteseeing, temples and temples and buddhas and buddhas. just me and my trusty tuk-tuk driver that made me go to tourist traps so he could get free cards for petrol. i was getting high on desil fumes, and thought i found nirvana for a moment but was wrong, it was just bad air quality.

so it was some sort of special day yesterday, everyone was wearing a gold shirt. i heard different stories, some said it was the standing buddhas birthday...others that it was a special buddhist holiday, but the temples were free and the tuk tuks were cheap so i didn't care. at my 2nd to last temple my driver dropped me off, said he'd be waiting outside for me...now i'm slow. i like to wander first, wander again and photograph, and right now i am so full of happiness and the blessings in my life i like to plop down with the other devoties and thank whatever it is out there for these blessings. so yeah it took me awhile, i didn't even know where i was but it was beautiful. so low and behold when i went outside my trusty driver was gone.
i waited awhile, bought some water, walked up and down the street, around the corner. nope he was gone, i felt so jilted. i had no idea where i was, and i haddn't even paid him. oh well, i just started walking and eventually found the backpacker burn out row i'm staying on.

the humidity is unbelievable here, it is like living life in a sauna, i am slick with sunblock and constantly rosy in the cheeks, i am a virtual mess. the heat makes me tired and i don't feel hungry until my head is fuzzy, my belly tells me nothing these days. so i grab an outdoor seat close to my place and eat a plate of veggie pad thai for something silly like 50 cents, then i get a beer because it is so so hot out. of course after the beer i'm ready for a nap, just a short one right? yeah i go to bed at like 3ish and wake up at midnight...god damn jet lag.
there are people up and rowdy on the streets all night long, but somehow i don't really think i want their company. so i shower and wash my dreads, then i lay there for about 8hrs. so yeah i'm really glad it's morning.

i have plans for today, but will tell you when they are done. i meet up with kristina, a childhood friend of mine, tomorrow at 9 am, then we will see what happens. sorry i haven't been able to post any pictures, i've been taking lots...just haven't found a place to load them on the computer yet.

and just a note to everyone that has helped me with this trip, you guys are the best! i've been contemplating my break up and the saddness that really pushed me out the door to this trip, and i am so thankful for all of it. i am at such an amazing place in my life, a world full of prospects and directions ahead of me. directions that weren't there even a month ago. i have so much to still learn about myself, and i think we are constantly learning, but i was content and let my self mold. now i'm in motion and motion feels good. i love movement i love change, as scary as it may be. i love watching myself progress, it amazes me, it is something like life that i cannot control but i can direct, or at least try to direct.

okay enough already..,i'll post pictures when i can. just a few more days in bangkok so send me emails now, otherwise i don't know when i will be able to read them.

the chicken suit has landed

okay so i made it, it's humid as hell, i've been in transit for 24 hrs, the letters are rubbed off of the keys, and as most of you know i'm a really bad speller....so have mercy on me when you read my posts.

that said. YES! i made it. i was on an airplane for so long i was begining to forget where i was going and what i was doing.

i think solitary travel, especially solitary transit time is set up to mess with your head. the less i speak the more i forget how to speak, and then when i have to i become dumd almost like i'm unable to. i had so much time getting here that i think i wrote 20 pages in my travel journal. i will share the highlights with you.

i think the best part was my neighbor on the 13.5 hr plane ride. very tall large 66 yr old man that was going deaf, and had a bad sense of humor. he was on his way to vietname for a girlfriend, but he had several lined up just in case one didn't work out. i learned this even before we got off the ground. he kept yelling at the flight attendents, and told me he doesn't like american women, and why at 29 have i never been married? right, lots of fun. he was into the asian women because they were subserviante, good with business, and didn't mind ugly old white men.i pretended i was asleep for most of the ride. fortunatly we parted ways in taipai and i'm sure he's making some poor womans life hell right now.

nothing much more happened until i landed, i was swept up with two other americans and an israli sharing a cab to the main tourist spot, this place is like telegraph on crack and all i've managed to do is get a room, and find the internet.i'm a little put out because i need to remeber to act differently here. that means no eye contact with strange men when i'm walking alone. it's such a drag, but other wise they think it's a pick up. i know this yet forget this about traveling alone, at least this will be a good warm up to india.

so today is tuesday for me, and i will be meeting with kristina on friday, so plenty of time to kick around town. the weather feels like i am sitting in a sauna, becky you would hate it!
hmmm not much more for you yet, just wanted to make sure everyone knew i was here!

military coup

so i heard last night that there was a military coup in thailand, bummer. there are the typical travel advisories like, " americans don't leave your country!" but i've noticed that america really doesn't encourage it's people to go out and see the world.
but as of yet my plans are still the same, i will just have to be a little more cautious, no big deal.
i mean really what's a military coup between a few friends, right?

so much to do still...

tuesday morning. the cat needs food, i still have freelance work to turn in, 3 more full long days of work, film to process, india's embassy to visit, family/friends to see. and oh yeah i still need to pack my house up. oops! so muh to do, but first things first let my start my travel blog! i leave in 5 days...wow. hahahah i can't really believe i'm doing this.

so many reasons why i'm doing this, but no time for that now, now i need to get some shit together!