left at the alter or jetlag really blows

it is 10 am on thursday morning here in the backpackers row of bangkok, and i can't tell you how fucking glad i am it's morning.

yesterday i started early with my siteseeing, temples and temples and buddhas and buddhas. just me and my trusty tuk-tuk driver that made me go to tourist traps so he could get free cards for petrol. i was getting high on desil fumes, and thought i found nirvana for a moment but was wrong, it was just bad air quality.

so it was some sort of special day yesterday, everyone was wearing a gold shirt. i heard different stories, some said it was the standing buddhas birthday...others that it was a special buddhist holiday, but the temples were free and the tuk tuks were cheap so i didn't care. at my 2nd to last temple my driver dropped me off, said he'd be waiting outside for me...now i'm slow. i like to wander first, wander again and photograph, and right now i am so full of happiness and the blessings in my life i like to plop down with the other devoties and thank whatever it is out there for these blessings. so yeah it took me awhile, i didn't even know where i was but it was beautiful. so low and behold when i went outside my trusty driver was gone.
i waited awhile, bought some water, walked up and down the street, around the corner. nope he was gone, i felt so jilted. i had no idea where i was, and i haddn't even paid him. oh well, i just started walking and eventually found the backpacker burn out row i'm staying on.

the humidity is unbelievable here, it is like living life in a sauna, i am slick with sunblock and constantly rosy in the cheeks, i am a virtual mess. the heat makes me tired and i don't feel hungry until my head is fuzzy, my belly tells me nothing these days. so i grab an outdoor seat close to my place and eat a plate of veggie pad thai for something silly like 50 cents, then i get a beer because it is so so hot out. of course after the beer i'm ready for a nap, just a short one right? yeah i go to bed at like 3ish and wake up at midnight...god damn jet lag.
there are people up and rowdy on the streets all night long, but somehow i don't really think i want their company. so i shower and wash my dreads, then i lay there for about 8hrs. so yeah i'm really glad it's morning.

i have plans for today, but will tell you when they are done. i meet up with kristina, a childhood friend of mine, tomorrow at 9 am, then we will see what happens. sorry i haven't been able to post any pictures, i've been taking lots...just haven't found a place to load them on the computer yet.

and just a note to everyone that has helped me with this trip, you guys are the best! i've been contemplating my break up and the saddness that really pushed me out the door to this trip, and i am so thankful for all of it. i am at such an amazing place in my life, a world full of prospects and directions ahead of me. directions that weren't there even a month ago. i have so much to still learn about myself, and i think we are constantly learning, but i was content and let my self mold. now i'm in motion and motion feels good. i love movement i love change, as scary as it may be. i love watching myself progress, it amazes me, it is something like life that i cannot control but i can direct, or at least try to direct.

okay enough already..,i'll post pictures when i can. just a few more days in bangkok so send me emails now, otherwise i don't know when i will be able to read them.