to have everyone i fall in love with not in love with me, and everyone i don't want to be in love with in love with me?
i went on a date that wasn't supposed to be a date, but the boy turned it into a date and i had to some how gracefully extract myself from a mislead friend with a fragile ego.trying to move away from the graceless grabbing, turning the cheek to receive the kiss. it's been so long since i was in that spot, that unwanted seat of being wanted. the eyes giving in the intent that they want to make the move, sigh.
i dart and doge, i weave and bob only to make an excuse, extract myself and then double back once said date is gone to meet up with a road taking me somewhere that is no good.
another man that is someone elses man.
i won't cross this line, i can't cross this line. i won't
it is heart break ahead for all, even if that were the intentions, but are those the intentions.
i feel guilty but i have done nothing wrong.