two days

Thursday, February 22, 2007
two days
so the dancers and musicians arrived today from east india.
no more playing around, if what we've been doing is "playing around".
the energy is so crazy. the musicians are wonderful, the dancers are wonderful. i am constantly on the verge of puking my guts out because i'm so nervouse.
tonight we try on our costumes. tomorrow our Guru does a special puja for each dancer and our gungaroos. the next day we dance.
life is crazy. this energy and people are crazy. sometimes i feel as if i'm possesed. sometimes i find myself crying because i am so overwhelemed with the blessing poured onto me.
i can't wonder about the choices i've made, because they have all been the right ones. to be here, to be experience this, is so where i am supposed to be. listening to me people may think that i am exaggerating, or i am playing some sort of "spiritual quest" game, where i turn into a dirty hippy that's found enlightenment in india and will drop out of society. but really i've found something magical, and frightning.
i have invited something into my life that i will NEVER be able to live with out. it is like i've never breathed air before and for the first time i feel it in my lungs. i am afraid to leave it. afraid to remove this paradise from my life.
the clock is starting to wind down on me. wish me luck for the 24th.