well i've had quite a few emails asking me about my blog, pretty much where was it? what had happened? are you still alive?
well the story is that i am forced to upgrade my blogger account, but since i'm working on a PET here and the connection is "carrier pigeon", you can imagine how l9ong ot takes to create anything. nothing is easily done in india, even if it is as simple as putting on your socks...
i have been moonlighting and keeping a second blog on the horrid myspace, and for your reading pleasure i have just caught you up on them. there's not much there, but enjoy.
as for right now, more the same. i think i may have caught a parasite, or my body is just wrecked. i gave him a name, seeing as how close we are, and he has become quiet a big part of the dance community. i hope to god it's something insane like a tapeworm.
also just one week to performance. it will be nice to be done with it...sometimes the build-up is too much. let's just do this and get on with our lives please.
i have given up on my plane ticket and am setteling in for my new life. i either end up working with the gypsys in the market, or getting married and learning to cook. hard choice right? but in all seriousness i am learning some mad dancing skills, and after this program passes i will start to learn a dance so feirce that it takes my breath away.
so yes i am alive, i am well. i am submurged in a dream, refusing to wake up.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
hair color
Friday, February 16, 2007
hair color
i was told that indians, even if they are gentlemen, really don't prefer blondes. i found this bit of knowledge interesting so went to investigate.
i asked several men and they all told me, no no blondes, we prefer black or "henna" colored hair. one even went so far as to say, "you'd be much prettier if you had black hair."
hair color
i was told that indians, even if they are gentlemen, really don't prefer blondes. i found this bit of knowledge interesting so went to investigate.
i asked several men and they all told me, no no blondes, we prefer black or "henna" colored hair. one even went so far as to say, "you'd be much prettier if you had black hair."
DEATH...again
DEATH....again
i thought settling into pushkar would be like one near death experience and then life. i have been confined to my bed for the last three. actually it's not even my bed but sharing a bed with one of the other girls i now think of as "mamma kimberly, the walking dr".
i think as a person i am not equipped for india. i have never been so sick, so many times. this land likes to remind me how weak i really am.
with only 9 days till program i find myself hysterical. well trying not to be, but on the verge. my body has been telling me, more rest morerestmorerest! and i would go home dutifully and be in bed at a resonable hour, but lay awake until 2 3 am. so finally my big dumb lug of an animal gave up on me since i wasn't giving it the proper care. a stupid but essential part of life.
on a side note i find it rather humerous that one word i consistantly spell wrong (among the thousands) is stupid. i ALWAYS want to spell it stupied instead of stupid. then i have to laugh and remeber how stupid i look spelling stupied wrong!
so after 3 days in bed i opened a door and walked home. i felt like i was seeing india for the first time again. i had been reborn.
then an angle from alaska came to visit me bringning an mp3 player with tom waits new 3cd album on it. i was on fire. i listened to it all night long. it made my brain smoulder and burn all thoughts...there is just something about that man and his words, i always had a thing for words even if i never cared to spell them right.
my brain has been awakened. there was a moment that the hamster fell asleep at the wheel and fell into his cider bedding, but that little bastard is up and doing his sun salutations so the maddness will begain again soon.
i ran into my french poet again. the one from the beginning of the trip. i said a breif hello and have plans to meet with him later. how odd to wander and run into the same people two three times in a trip, in different countries no less.
i have missed 3 days of rehersal. i could chew off my arm i feel so anxious. there's nothing to heal the body like a good dose of anxiety...
but this is all part of theprocess. giving it up. i have really learned some depths in the soul/body relationship. i push and sometimes it folds, and when it folds i can't seem to tell why.
airplane limbo continues...i'm never coming home.
i thought settling into pushkar would be like one near death experience and then life. i have been confined to my bed for the last three. actually it's not even my bed but sharing a bed with one of the other girls i now think of as "mamma kimberly, the walking dr".
i think as a person i am not equipped for india. i have never been so sick, so many times. this land likes to remind me how weak i really am.
with only 9 days till program i find myself hysterical. well trying not to be, but on the verge. my body has been telling me, more rest morerestmorerest! and i would go home dutifully and be in bed at a resonable hour, but lay awake until 2 3 am. so finally my big dumb lug of an animal gave up on me since i wasn't giving it the proper care. a stupid but essential part of life.
on a side note i find it rather humerous that one word i consistantly spell wrong (among the thousands) is stupid. i ALWAYS want to spell it stupied instead of stupid. then i have to laugh and remeber how stupid i look spelling stupied wrong!
so after 3 days in bed i opened a door and walked home. i felt like i was seeing india for the first time again. i had been reborn.
then an angle from alaska came to visit me bringning an mp3 player with tom waits new 3cd album on it. i was on fire. i listened to it all night long. it made my brain smoulder and burn all thoughts...there is just something about that man and his words, i always had a thing for words even if i never cared to spell them right.
my brain has been awakened. there was a moment that the hamster fell asleep at the wheel and fell into his cider bedding, but that little bastard is up and doing his sun salutations so the maddness will begain again soon.
i ran into my french poet again. the one from the beginning of the trip. i said a breif hello and have plans to meet with him later. how odd to wander and run into the same people two three times in a trip, in different countries no less.
i have missed 3 days of rehersal. i could chew off my arm i feel so anxious. there's nothing to heal the body like a good dose of anxiety...
but this is all part of theprocess. giving it up. i have really learned some depths in the soul/body relationship. i push and sometimes it folds, and when it folds i can't seem to tell why.
airplane limbo continues...i'm never coming home.
gungaroos
Friday, February 09, 2007
gungaroos
today was the first time ever i strapped on some gungaroos.
for those of you that don't know gungaroos are the bells worn around the ankles, they are found in several different forms of classical indian dance.
the feeling was amazing. having them on my ankels really made me want to dance. it was elating. suddenly after a full day of rehersal, running to the tailors, running to the bookshop, working with an indian graphic designer on big banners for our show, and then doing music theory, blah blah blah....i thought i was pooped (always goes back to #2) but no i found that with my gungaroos i had the power to go on.
i was a new woman. i did every choka step and every dance. i was floating on bells.
i have been learning more and more about the history of odissi dance...something i won't babble on about, but this whole experience has ruined me. or saved me, we've yet to see.
still in airplane limbo.
gungaroos
today was the first time ever i strapped on some gungaroos.
for those of you that don't know gungaroos are the bells worn around the ankles, they are found in several different forms of classical indian dance.
the feeling was amazing. having them on my ankels really made me want to dance. it was elating. suddenly after a full day of rehersal, running to the tailors, running to the bookshop, working with an indian graphic designer on big banners for our show, and then doing music theory, blah blah blah....i thought i was pooped (always goes back to #2) but no i found that with my gungaroos i had the power to go on.
i was a new woman. i did every choka step and every dance. i was floating on bells.
i have been learning more and more about the history of odissi dance...something i won't babble on about, but this whole experience has ruined me. or saved me, we've yet to see.
still in airplane limbo.
today
Monday, February 05, 2007
today
19 days till performance.
we have been working so hard here at the studio that EVERYONE fell sick at once. a massive gust of desert air pushed a cold virus from one dry nose to another. with in a day we were all down for the count. my guesthouse boyfriend kept me supplied in tea and conversation, he brought me flowers for my durga, and made sure i was well taken care of.
i took 2.5 days off of school and slept slept slept. i went through a whole tissue roll with my nose alone. today i fell much better. today we held a meeting about keeping the school healthy for the next 19 days, after that who cares?
i'm in the middle of dance #3, but luckily will only be performing two dances on stage. i can't wait to get my pretty costume from orissa, and pretend to be a classical dancer.
i need an accordian player and a human beatbox artist on my return, i have plans of grandure for the stage.
my return. i can't seem to get my return date sorted out, and have been having horrid problems with a return date. i think i may have to live with the gypsys and do henna in the markets once this dance program is over. my time is running longer than my $. but it is only $ and i know my dear friends and family won't make me stoop to prostitution. well if they do i live in the right hood!
i've been trying to get in good with the silver guys here in town, but still their prices are so high! they know me by name but still levey the "white skin tax" so things aren't much cheaper than they would be in america. also pushkar is such a tourist markwet that if i don't pay the prices someone else will.
i saw a world famouse indian flautist last night. somehow my picture ended up in the hindi paper from it. i've yet to see it, but while walking to school this morning i kept getting my local dollar dropping report and, oh you are in the paper today! no one seemed to have a copy on them, but i'll check it out.
i meet a traveling painter from south africa that has started sketching me, and wants to paint dancer portraits.
what else? i have a parcel as big as my body that needs to make it into the mail, i have to hire a coolie to carry it for me.
pushkar is still a dream. everyday i start to forget, but then i open my eyes.
today
19 days till performance.
we have been working so hard here at the studio that EVERYONE fell sick at once. a massive gust of desert air pushed a cold virus from one dry nose to another. with in a day we were all down for the count. my guesthouse boyfriend kept me supplied in tea and conversation, he brought me flowers for my durga, and made sure i was well taken care of.
i took 2.5 days off of school and slept slept slept. i went through a whole tissue roll with my nose alone. today i fell much better. today we held a meeting about keeping the school healthy for the next 19 days, after that who cares?
i'm in the middle of dance #3, but luckily will only be performing two dances on stage. i can't wait to get my pretty costume from orissa, and pretend to be a classical dancer.
i need an accordian player and a human beatbox artist on my return, i have plans of grandure for the stage.
my return. i can't seem to get my return date sorted out, and have been having horrid problems with a return date. i think i may have to live with the gypsys and do henna in the markets once this dance program is over. my time is running longer than my $. but it is only $ and i know my dear friends and family won't make me stoop to prostitution. well if they do i live in the right hood!
i've been trying to get in good with the silver guys here in town, but still their prices are so high! they know me by name but still levey the "white skin tax" so things aren't much cheaper than they would be in america. also pushkar is such a tourist markwet that if i don't pay the prices someone else will.
i saw a world famouse indian flautist last night. somehow my picture ended up in the hindi paper from it. i've yet to see it, but while walking to school this morning i kept getting my local dollar dropping report and, oh you are in the paper today! no one seemed to have a copy on them, but i'll check it out.
i meet a traveling painter from south africa that has started sketching me, and wants to paint dancer portraits.
what else? i have a parcel as big as my body that needs to make it into the mail, i have to hire a coolie to carry it for me.
pushkar is still a dream. everyday i start to forget, but then i open my eyes.
Friday, January 26, 2007
teacher dance day
i couldn't sleep last night. not suprisingly my good pal insomnia dropped by for a visit. it reminded me i was suddenly cold, and that my pillow is about as thick as a panty liner, and my blankets smell faintly of burlap, and the wood slats of my bed can be felt through what passes as a "matress" here in india.
everytime a cow farted outside my eyes would open. with the countdown for home started in the furthest reaches of my brain, my hamster has returned to its rusted wheel.
my final waking in the morning was to a woman wailing. i think someone must of died. it was long hysterical wailing for over an hour. i layed with my head hidden under the covers listening.
this week has really really kicked my ass. i had every intention of pulling through, going to my first class and continuing on this path of hard core hard core. but then walking in the morning i decieded i needed a teacher dance day, a mental health day, well a mental health morning at least. today is the last day of my workshop, and though i've been loving it, and my students are great, i will be happy to change my focuse to just learning.
and with rehersal coming into full full swing i'm really not allowed a day off. so this morning i talked to my guru and said, "hey i take vacation from stepping class" and he say's "okay, rest but come for item class"
really this means i only skip out on 1.5 hours of morning exercise. so i drank chai and watched my duid-wallah, i ate a large breakfast, and i came here, to write to you.
thrilling isn't it?
my spanish boy leaves today. i would be sad, but why? i am completely consumed with the dancing.
we had a film crew come to our school the other day. they took footage of colleena dancing and of the advanced class (me included) rehersing. so next sunday night we will be on rajastani tv.
i was told that one month intinsive in odissi is equal to one year of study, so when i'm done here i should have the equevilent of 2.5yrs of work.
my brain needs to figure out how to come back next year.
everytime a cow farted outside my eyes would open. with the countdown for home started in the furthest reaches of my brain, my hamster has returned to its rusted wheel.
my final waking in the morning was to a woman wailing. i think someone must of died. it was long hysterical wailing for over an hour. i layed with my head hidden under the covers listening.
this week has really really kicked my ass. i had every intention of pulling through, going to my first class and continuing on this path of hard core hard core. but then walking in the morning i decieded i needed a teacher dance day, a mental health day, well a mental health morning at least. today is the last day of my workshop, and though i've been loving it, and my students are great, i will be happy to change my focuse to just learning.
and with rehersal coming into full full swing i'm really not allowed a day off. so this morning i talked to my guru and said, "hey i take vacation from stepping class" and he say's "okay, rest but come for item class"
really this means i only skip out on 1.5 hours of morning exercise. so i drank chai and watched my duid-wallah, i ate a large breakfast, and i came here, to write to you.
thrilling isn't it?
my spanish boy leaves today. i would be sad, but why? i am completely consumed with the dancing.
we had a film crew come to our school the other day. they took footage of colleena dancing and of the advanced class (me included) rehersing. so next sunday night we will be on rajastani tv.
i was told that one month intinsive in odissi is equal to one year of study, so when i'm done here i should have the equevilent of 2.5yrs of work.
my brain needs to figure out how to come back next year.
more
more more more. i have been so busy here i can't see straight.
i had a solo performance the other night, and the place was jammed packed. there was no drinks and no fear. the crowd loved me. boy's and girls i'm big in india.
i am at the end of my 10hr workshop. i have 2 odissi dances under my belt and starting a third. my right heel has had a blow out and it is difficult to dance.
i am dancing so much that i have to work to find time to eat.
the cold "winter" has melted away after a month and the days are hot now, hot like dry hot. my skin is aging before my eyes.
i've fallen in love with the duid-wallah. an old man with a curling white beard, a multi-colored turban, and gold ear cuffs. i see him every morning as he rides in on his big motorcycle, milk pales tied to either side.
i've fallen in love with a spanish man that can see straight through me.
i have become part of a wonderful family here. a bunch of dance geeks that watch dance videos for fun.
we have a new teacher today, he has come to help whip us into shape. my feet and ankles are no longer my own, or at least i can't feel them so i don't think i should claim them.
my nights are filled with buckets of hot water and tiger balm....
countdown to performance is one month...
i had a solo performance the other night, and the place was jammed packed. there was no drinks and no fear. the crowd loved me. boy's and girls i'm big in india.
i am at the end of my 10hr workshop. i have 2 odissi dances under my belt and starting a third. my right heel has had a blow out and it is difficult to dance.
i am dancing so much that i have to work to find time to eat.
the cold "winter" has melted away after a month and the days are hot now, hot like dry hot. my skin is aging before my eyes.
i've fallen in love with the duid-wallah. an old man with a curling white beard, a multi-colored turban, and gold ear cuffs. i see him every morning as he rides in on his big motorcycle, milk pales tied to either side.
i've fallen in love with a spanish man that can see straight through me.
i have become part of a wonderful family here. a bunch of dance geeks that watch dance videos for fun.
we have a new teacher today, he has come to help whip us into shape. my feet and ankles are no longer my own, or at least i can't feel them so i don't think i should claim them.
my nights are filled with buckets of hot water and tiger balm....
countdown to performance is one month...
Friday, January 12, 2007
big fish...
i have been thrown from just finishing the very first dance you learn as an odissi dancer into learning one of the last, and difficult dances.
the odissi food chain befuddles me. i feel as if i am hardly keeping up.
i feel the honor of being thrown in with the big fish, and really i work the best when under pressure, but between me and you sometimes its a daunting thing.
i mean i am literally dancing all day 6 days a week. i look forward to sunday as i've never looked forward to a day off before. i love it, but it can't always be love and confidence. i wouldn't say i'm doubting myself either, but this is definitly turning into an exercise of shutting out the ego.
i can feel it waiting for me, to not work hard enough, to not understnad a step and replicate it quickly enough.
i saw a man hit a cow with his car the other day. i was told that if you kill a cow in india that is one of the worst things for your after life. people will turn themselves into beggars for a few years to try and cancel out the bad karma they've accumulated from this act.
crazy india.
we've ordered our professional odissi outfits for our feb 24th program. i love being part of a studio, to be working to create a very unique performance in an amazing place.
our dresses have to be specially made in Orissia where Odissi originated by a man who's only job is making odissi dresses. this is costing me a few hundred dollars, for one dress. i really don't think i've spent that much on one artical of clothing EVER! but seeing how we will be swarmed with the media it's probably important to look my best!
i have been thrown from just finishing the very first dance you learn as an odissi dancer into learning one of the last, and difficult dances.
the odissi food chain befuddles me. i feel as if i am hardly keeping up.
i feel the honor of being thrown in with the big fish, and really i work the best when under pressure, but between me and you sometimes its a daunting thing.
i mean i am literally dancing all day 6 days a week. i look forward to sunday as i've never looked forward to a day off before. i love it, but it can't always be love and confidence. i wouldn't say i'm doubting myself either, but this is definitly turning into an exercise of shutting out the ego.
i can feel it waiting for me, to not work hard enough, to not understnad a step and replicate it quickly enough.
i saw a man hit a cow with his car the other day. i was told that if you kill a cow in india that is one of the worst things for your after life. people will turn themselves into beggars for a few years to try and cancel out the bad karma they've accumulated from this act.
crazy india.
we've ordered our professional odissi outfits for our feb 24th program. i love being part of a studio, to be working to create a very unique performance in an amazing place.
our dresses have to be specially made in Orissia where Odissi originated by a man who's only job is making odissi dresses. this is costing me a few hundred dollars, for one dress. i really don't think i've spent that much on one artical of clothing EVER! but seeing how we will be swarmed with the media it's probably important to look my best!
skinny will come...
we've been hard at work learning a new type of step. this type has a 1-10 and is known as trephungi. those that have taken colleena's workshop, or an odissi class will be familiar with this.
once again i feel like an ape. my knuckles dragging on the ground i leap back and forth screaming and throwing poo at the others. it always comes back to poo.
we are also in a 4/4 to 6/8 transition in the dance, we do a fancy little ballet leap with it. this too makes me revert to my ape ancestors and it's all i can do to stay in form and not shake my hands over my head making monkey noises.
my Guru is and ageless indian man. he sits behing his drum and yells out "No! WHY!" when we do something wrong. he is a fantastic teacher, and never asks us to do anything he can't do. it is amazing with new choreography to watch him dance, sometimes i forget i'm supposed to replicate it. and he always does it once and the say's "you know like this" like i have any idea what he's talking about.
today at our morning break i was laughing at my trephungi attemps and talking with the other dancers about how great our thighs must look and Guruji comes up to me and say's "don't worry skinny will come"
now i can't say that this was something that i was really thinking about. i mean i put on some weight in thailand, but after almost a month of dancing i can feel the difference in my body and i don't think i'm looking all that bad.
all i could really do is laugh and say "really Guruji skinny will come?"
and in all seriousness he looks at me like a concerend father and say's "yeah yeah you a dancer, you have good mind, skinny will come"
so praise God boys and girls skinny will come!
i finally met an indian man that had lived abroad in the west for 6months. he is dissatisfied with his life, he is planning and dreaming for something different than what he has. it seems to be a rare find here in Pushkar, someone that isn't happy with their pre-ordained path. i'm not sure really if it is a good thing, dissatisfaction, but it was nice to finally meet someone that seemed to really think about things and their place in life.
once again i feel like an ape. my knuckles dragging on the ground i leap back and forth screaming and throwing poo at the others. it always comes back to poo.
we are also in a 4/4 to 6/8 transition in the dance, we do a fancy little ballet leap with it. this too makes me revert to my ape ancestors and it's all i can do to stay in form and not shake my hands over my head making monkey noises.
my Guru is and ageless indian man. he sits behing his drum and yells out "No! WHY!" when we do something wrong. he is a fantastic teacher, and never asks us to do anything he can't do. it is amazing with new choreography to watch him dance, sometimes i forget i'm supposed to replicate it. and he always does it once and the say's "you know like this" like i have any idea what he's talking about.
today at our morning break i was laughing at my trephungi attemps and talking with the other dancers about how great our thighs must look and Guruji comes up to me and say's "don't worry skinny will come"
now i can't say that this was something that i was really thinking about. i mean i put on some weight in thailand, but after almost a month of dancing i can feel the difference in my body and i don't think i'm looking all that bad.
all i could really do is laugh and say "really Guruji skinny will come?"
and in all seriousness he looks at me like a concerend father and say's "yeah yeah you a dancer, you have good mind, skinny will come"
so praise God boys and girls skinny will come!
i finally met an indian man that had lived abroad in the west for 6months. he is dissatisfied with his life, he is planning and dreaming for something different than what he has. it seems to be a rare find here in Pushkar, someone that isn't happy with their pre-ordained path. i'm not sure really if it is a good thing, dissatisfaction, but it was nice to finally meet someone that seemed to really think about things and their place in life.
Sunday, January 07, 2007
today...
today is monday jan. 8th 2007.
i think it is getting colder here. there are a few material items i dream of..
1. my long dance legwarmers
2. my dance arm shrug
3. polar fleece jacket
4. mitlettes
5.sonicare toothbrush
6.my book collection
7.gummy hearts
i will be giving a small performance in two weeks at a local resturant with a few other dancers. then i will be teaching my first workshop.
i really don't enjoy being the center of attention. dancing as a soloist makes me want to ralph. i wish i had my 50lbs suitcase full of make up and tricks. but all i have is a stick of coal, some old crusty mascara, and Pushkar market to shop for my costume. what will i do without my comforts? without my troupe mates?
bellydance polotics is getting thick here, almost as thick as in the states. the conversations make me want to puncture my ear drums. the cattiness is lurking under layers of salwar kameze...can it be contained?
i took a ride on a motorbike the other night with my guesthouse boyfriend. he's always telling me about the hills at night and how beautiful it is. so he invites me along and i accept. he then spends a few minutes on his cellphone and we leave. some how "riding through the hills at night" turned into "zig-zagging through town at night" i felt like i was on display. i wonder if he called all his friends and was like "hey bet you five ruppees i got a blonde on my bike".
i was a little annoyed at first, but really it was funny. life is just funny to me, especially life here in india.
so what do i care if pushkar thinks i'm hooking up with my guesthouse guy? if they think that then maybe they'll leave me alone.
solitude is something that is no longer part of my life. i have to work hard to be alone, well there are now over a billion people in india, so i guess i can't complaine.
i think it is getting colder here. there are a few material items i dream of..
1. my long dance legwarmers
2. my dance arm shrug
3. polar fleece jacket
4. mitlettes
5.sonicare toothbrush
6.my book collection
7.gummy hearts
i will be giving a small performance in two weeks at a local resturant with a few other dancers. then i will be teaching my first workshop.
i really don't enjoy being the center of attention. dancing as a soloist makes me want to ralph. i wish i had my 50lbs suitcase full of make up and tricks. but all i have is a stick of coal, some old crusty mascara, and Pushkar market to shop for my costume. what will i do without my comforts? without my troupe mates?
bellydance polotics is getting thick here, almost as thick as in the states. the conversations make me want to puncture my ear drums. the cattiness is lurking under layers of salwar kameze...can it be contained?
i took a ride on a motorbike the other night with my guesthouse boyfriend. he's always telling me about the hills at night and how beautiful it is. so he invites me along and i accept. he then spends a few minutes on his cellphone and we leave. some how "riding through the hills at night" turned into "zig-zagging through town at night" i felt like i was on display. i wonder if he called all his friends and was like "hey bet you five ruppees i got a blonde on my bike".
i was a little annoyed at first, but really it was funny. life is just funny to me, especially life here in india.
so what do i care if pushkar thinks i'm hooking up with my guesthouse guy? if they think that then maybe they'll leave me alone.
solitude is something that is no longer part of my life. i have to work hard to be alone, well there are now over a billion people in india, so i guess i can't complaine.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
new years and feeling like death
on new years i didn't camp in the desert or the dessert. i did however spend it under the stars listening to a man with a voice of...how to describe. audioual honey. everytime i hear this man sing i am frozen, i can't explain.
i wanted to turn my head sideways and spoon the richness into my ears. once he was done i wanted to plug my ears with my fingures and keep his voice safe in my head. unfortunatly it doesn't work that way. he is however my song teacher, and sings when we dance. only once have i danced to him singing, and i just really couldn't function, i became all elbows and shuffeling steps!
and part two. i have been SO sick! after all this time i was thumbing my nose at the travel sick bug. don't get me wrong i have plenty of shit stories to share on a one to one basis, but as far as sick goes, it has been quick and never too painfull.
so happy new year, the purge of 2006 is done and i physically felt it passing. today is my first day out of bed after about 50 hours of sleep. i really hope this is all for the new year!
i wanted to turn my head sideways and spoon the richness into my ears. once he was done i wanted to plug my ears with my fingures and keep his voice safe in my head. unfortunatly it doesn't work that way. he is however my song teacher, and sings when we dance. only once have i danced to him singing, and i just really couldn't function, i became all elbows and shuffeling steps!
and part two. i have been SO sick! after all this time i was thumbing my nose at the travel sick bug. don't get me wrong i have plenty of shit stories to share on a one to one basis, but as far as sick goes, it has been quick and never too painfull.
so happy new year, the purge of 2006 is done and i physically felt it passing. today is my first day out of bed after about 50 hours of sleep. i really hope this is all for the new year!
Saturday, December 30, 2006
day 90 something...
so day 90 something in my travels. at some point this stopped being a trip and began being my life. i feel so out of touch with things back in america. i still am missing my loved ones, but as all humans i have adapted and am enjoying my life as it is. right now too there is little but amazment in my every day.
dance is coming. slowly slowly. i find that i am quick to catch on to things but slow to perfecting, although nothing in life ever reaches perfection, its just not the nature of life.
i am finding my routine to be pleasently simple yet physically demanding almost to a point of breaking for me. i still want to cry in the cold mornings, to early to get out of bed, to cold to get out of bed. which of the three outfits should i wear? what doesn't stink? can i shower today? when will i have time to do laundry?
walk to the studio drink my morning fresh juice at the juice stand, go for my morning chai at the chai stand, go to the studio, more chai. enough chai to fill the oceans inhabits my body. my blood is a thick masala choursing through my veins, pumping into my feet and behind my eyes to make my dance full of spice. then warm-ups and stepping. my feet won't slap. it seems like such a childish noise, i can do it stading still as if i'm waiting for a bus, but as soon as i'm in dance choka the sound is taken away from me. i still pound the pavement and try to ignore the pain that has yet to leave my feet. dancing dancing dancing. then a break for breakfast, rice and bananas.
i used to hate bananas, the small made me want to puke, but suddenly now i can't get enough. i eat bananas like i drink chai. after bananas more class. i am learning the first dance, today i reached the end of it. i picked it up quickly but now my brain tries to reassemble it in a different order. we argue about this, my brain and i, but i am beginning to win. yesterday i was thrown in with our lovely singing man and the drum at full swing, i have to say i wasn't quite up to the challange, but i was so distracted by our singers voice i suddenly felt shy to be dancing in front of a small audience and my feet forgot their patterns.
after that then a break. one girl right now is very sick so we have been taking turns visiting her, she has some sort of parasite...nasty, but on her way to recovery.
after a break then another class, dancing alittle more, music theory, mudras, eye patterns, head patterns, neck patterns, hindu stories, and now voice lessons. yes yes i'm learning to sing in hindi. maybe after two months i will be able to carry a tune. after that it is late. maybe some dinner, maybe not. lately i have been having to duck past this rich brahmin boy that wants to "touch my soul" for me. unfortunatly he owns a shop between my school and my guesthouse so it's a little hard not to at least stop and chat for a few minutes. damn my upbringing. i never learned to be rude to strangers, something that i think is becoming a necessity in india. the art of blowing someone off, i always feel so bad, but for such a sexually repressed society the indian boys won't say the word "sex" but they are very pushy in a charming manner with forgien girls, i have to say i don't quite know how to deal with it.
mostly i smile and ignore them and make excuses not to talk to them.
but life is good, despite the cold. tomorrow is sunday and i can sleep in, wear my western clothes, and wash my dance clothes, these have become the simple pleasures in my life.
i can't believe it is almost january. i feel like i have been gone for a moment but also an eternity. i am consumed with dance and imagine the rest of my stay here will fly by to too quickly.
i am reaching frustration levels easily. i blame so day 90 something in my travels. at some point this stopped being a trip and began being my life. i feel so out of touch with things back in america. i still am missing my loved ones, but as all humans i have adapted and am enjoying my life as it is. right now too there is little but amazment in my every day.
dance is coming. slowly slowly. i find that i am quick to catch on to things but slow to perfecting, although nothing in life ever reaches perfection, its just not the nature of life.
i am finding my routine to be pleasently simple yet physically demanding almost to a point of breaking for me. i still want to cry in the cold mornings, to early to get out of bed, to cold to get out of bed. which of the three outfits should i wear? what doesn't stink? can i shower today? when will i have time to do laundry?
walk to the studio drink my morning fresh juice at the juice stand, go for my morning chai at the chai stand, go to the studio, more chai. enough chai to fill the oceans inhabits my body. my blood is a thick masala choursing through my veins, pumping into my feet and behind my eyes to make my dance full of spice. then warm-ups and stepping. my feet won't slap. it seems like such a childish noise, i can do it stading still as if i'm waiting for a bus, but as soon as i'm in dance choka the sound is taken away from me. i still pound the pavement and try to ignore the pain that has yet to leave my feet. dancing dancing dancing. then a break for breakfast, rice and bananas.
i used to hate bananas, the small made me want to puke, but suddenly now i can't get enough. i eat bananas like i drink chai. after bananas more class. i am learning the first dance, today i reached the end of it. i picked it up quickly but now my brain tries to reassemble it in a different order. we argue about this, my brain and i, but i am beginning to win. yesterday i was thrown in with our lovely singing man and the drum at full swing, i have to say i wasn't quite up to the challange, but i was so distracted by our singers voice i suddenly felt shy to be dancing in front of a small audience and my feet forgot their patterns.
after that then a break. one girl right now is very sick so we have been taking turns visiting her, she has some sort of parasite...nasty, but on her way to recovery.
after a break then another class, dancing alittle more, music theory, mudras, eye patterns, head patterns, neck patterns, hindu stories, and now voice lessons. yes yes i'm learning to sing in hindi. maybe after two months i will be able to carry a tune. after that it is late. maybe some dinner, maybe not. lately i have been having to duck past this rich brahmin boy that wants to "touch my soul" for me. unfortunatly he owns a shop between my school and my guesthouse so it's a little hard not to at least stop and chat for a few minutes. damn my upbringing. i never learned to be rude to strangers, something that i think is becoming a necessity in india. the art of blowing someone off, i always feel so bad, but for such a sexually repressed society the indian boys won't say the word "sex" but they are very pushy in a charming manner with forgien girls, i have to say i don't quite know how to deal with it.
mostly i smile and ignore them and make excuses not to talk to them.
but life is good, despite the cold. tomorrow is sunday and i can sleep in, wear my western clothes, and wash my dance clothes, these have become the simple pleasures in my life.
i can't believe it is almost january. i feel like i have been gone for a moment but also an eternity. i am consumed with dance and imagine the rest of my stay here will fly by to too quickly.
i am reaching frustration levels easily. i blame
dance is coming. slowly slowly. i find that i am quick to catch on to things but slow to perfecting, although nothing in life ever reaches perfection, its just not the nature of life.
i am finding my routine to be pleasently simple yet physically demanding almost to a point of breaking for me. i still want to cry in the cold mornings, to early to get out of bed, to cold to get out of bed. which of the three outfits should i wear? what doesn't stink? can i shower today? when will i have time to do laundry?
walk to the studio drink my morning fresh juice at the juice stand, go for my morning chai at the chai stand, go to the studio, more chai. enough chai to fill the oceans inhabits my body. my blood is a thick masala choursing through my veins, pumping into my feet and behind my eyes to make my dance full of spice. then warm-ups and stepping. my feet won't slap. it seems like such a childish noise, i can do it stading still as if i'm waiting for a bus, but as soon as i'm in dance choka the sound is taken away from me. i still pound the pavement and try to ignore the pain that has yet to leave my feet. dancing dancing dancing. then a break for breakfast, rice and bananas.
i used to hate bananas, the small made me want to puke, but suddenly now i can't get enough. i eat bananas like i drink chai. after bananas more class. i am learning the first dance, today i reached the end of it. i picked it up quickly but now my brain tries to reassemble it in a different order. we argue about this, my brain and i, but i am beginning to win. yesterday i was thrown in with our lovely singing man and the drum at full swing, i have to say i wasn't quite up to the challange, but i was so distracted by our singers voice i suddenly felt shy to be dancing in front of a small audience and my feet forgot their patterns.
after that then a break. one girl right now is very sick so we have been taking turns visiting her, she has some sort of parasite...nasty, but on her way to recovery.
after a break then another class, dancing alittle more, music theory, mudras, eye patterns, head patterns, neck patterns, hindu stories, and now voice lessons. yes yes i'm learning to sing in hindi. maybe after two months i will be able to carry a tune. after that it is late. maybe some dinner, maybe not. lately i have been having to duck past this rich brahmin boy that wants to "touch my soul" for me. unfortunatly he owns a shop between my school and my guesthouse so it's a little hard not to at least stop and chat for a few minutes. damn my upbringing. i never learned to be rude to strangers, something that i think is becoming a necessity in india. the art of blowing someone off, i always feel so bad, but for such a sexually repressed society the indian boys won't say the word "sex" but they are very pushy in a charming manner with forgien girls, i have to say i don't quite know how to deal with it.
mostly i smile and ignore them and make excuses not to talk to them.
but life is good, despite the cold. tomorrow is sunday and i can sleep in, wear my western clothes, and wash my dance clothes, these have become the simple pleasures in my life.
i can't believe it is almost january. i feel like i have been gone for a moment but also an eternity. i am consumed with dance and imagine the rest of my stay here will fly by to too quickly.
i am reaching frustration levels easily. i blame so day 90 something in my travels. at some point this stopped being a trip and began being my life. i feel so out of touch with things back in america. i still am missing my loved ones, but as all humans i have adapted and am enjoying my life as it is. right now too there is little but amazment in my every day.
dance is coming. slowly slowly. i find that i am quick to catch on to things but slow to perfecting, although nothing in life ever reaches perfection, its just not the nature of life.
i am finding my routine to be pleasently simple yet physically demanding almost to a point of breaking for me. i still want to cry in the cold mornings, to early to get out of bed, to cold to get out of bed. which of the three outfits should i wear? what doesn't stink? can i shower today? when will i have time to do laundry?
walk to the studio drink my morning fresh juice at the juice stand, go for my morning chai at the chai stand, go to the studio, more chai. enough chai to fill the oceans inhabits my body. my blood is a thick masala choursing through my veins, pumping into my feet and behind my eyes to make my dance full of spice. then warm-ups and stepping. my feet won't slap. it seems like such a childish noise, i can do it stading still as if i'm waiting for a bus, but as soon as i'm in dance choka the sound is taken away from me. i still pound the pavement and try to ignore the pain that has yet to leave my feet. dancing dancing dancing. then a break for breakfast, rice and bananas.
i used to hate bananas, the small made me want to puke, but suddenly now i can't get enough. i eat bananas like i drink chai. after bananas more class. i am learning the first dance, today i reached the end of it. i picked it up quickly but now my brain tries to reassemble it in a different order. we argue about this, my brain and i, but i am beginning to win. yesterday i was thrown in with our lovely singing man and the drum at full swing, i have to say i wasn't quite up to the challange, but i was so distracted by our singers voice i suddenly felt shy to be dancing in front of a small audience and my feet forgot their patterns.
after that then a break. one girl right now is very sick so we have been taking turns visiting her, she has some sort of parasite...nasty, but on her way to recovery.
after a break then another class, dancing alittle more, music theory, mudras, eye patterns, head patterns, neck patterns, hindu stories, and now voice lessons. yes yes i'm learning to sing in hindi. maybe after two months i will be able to carry a tune. after that it is late. maybe some dinner, maybe not. lately i have been having to duck past this rich brahmin boy that wants to "touch my soul" for me. unfortunatly he owns a shop between my school and my guesthouse so it's a little hard not to at least stop and chat for a few minutes. damn my upbringing. i never learned to be rude to strangers, something that i think is becoming a necessity in india. the art of blowing someone off, i always feel so bad, but for such a sexually repressed society the indian boys won't say the word "sex" but they are very pushy in a charming manner with forgien girls, i have to say i don't quite know how to deal with it.
mostly i smile and ignore them and make excuses not to talk to them.
but life is good, despite the cold. tomorrow is sunday and i can sleep in, wear my western clothes, and wash my dance clothes, these have become the simple pleasures in my life.
i can't believe it is almost january. i feel like i have been gone for a moment but also an eternity. i am consumed with dance and imagine the rest of my stay here will fly by to too quickly.
i am reaching frustration levels easily. i blame
Friday, December 29, 2006
huh? photos?
so 've been getting emails about photos i sent out and people can't veiw them because of a virus. so yeah i DIDN"T send out anything in a mass email, or with an attachment.
i don't know what's going on but it wasn't really from me. so i apologize if this messed with anyone, and for the record i'm not sending any attachments while on the road, or mass emails. i'l do it all through blogger. i will however send individuale emails so don't be afraid of getting an email from me. just be afraid of mass emails and attachments, okay?
so once again sorry for this stuff, i know it's frustrating.
i don't know what's going on but it wasn't really from me. so i apologize if this messed with anyone, and for the record i'm not sending any attachments while on the road, or mass emails. i'l do it all through blogger. i will however send individuale emails so don't be afraid of getting an email from me. just be afraid of mass emails and attachments, okay?
so once again sorry for this stuff, i know it's frustrating.
so it happend like this...
so i was prepaired to spend a sad christmas in the desert. as i wrote previously i was having afecctionate thoughts of my used to be family and the christmas's past. i really wanted to be a world away for the holidays and forget that they even existed.
but really life, as she usually does, served me up the prettiest slice of cake with all the frosting and piles of flowers.
let me tell you more. i wrote a sad blog, and then went to hunt for desert for the dance crew. i pouted and got a little wet around the eye lashes, and then made it back to the studio. in our little slice of heaven was my odissi family crammed into a kitchen with a gas powered camping stove. we all crouched on the floor and peeled vegtables, made a batch of frosting by stringing everyones memory together, and just had fun.
sunday nights are reserved at the studio for religiouse hindu music and song, so at 6pm our amazing drum master and song master started their thing. travelers and locals alike piled into the little room and we served chai. the feeling of peace and love was all surrounding. the music, as always, was beautiful. the song teacher here has the most amazing voice and i am lucky enough to hear him sing 7days a week.
i sat between some people i recognize from the market, and one of the dancers and really was able just to absorbe the moment and the sound, to think of my time that i've spent wandering, to think of what i am doing now. it really was more than i could ask.
once the singing was done and the conversations closed we brought out a feast that was being put together in the kitchen. the whole school sat down and ate together. small presents were exchange and colleena gave me the most beautiful shawl to keep me warm, since i didn't have a warm one!
then we put on the tunes and listened to turkish 7's and 9's and were given lessons on turkisk romany dance. so amazing! i know where my next trip will be!
we stayed so late that we were locked into the temple and it took us 30mins to wake up the gate keeper. the streets were pretty empty buythe time we parted ways, unless of course you count the dogs and the cows fighting over the scraps from the day. it happened that while i was giving kimberly, another bay area bellydancer, a good night hug a big ol' cow came up and butted me in the back! good thing the mother didn't have horns because it hit me pretty good, kimberly screamed and ran away dragging me with her right into a big pile of cow shit. the poo oozed up over the sides of my floppers and stuck to my foot! oh it was so gross and warm. but really i didn't care, it made me laugh.
so then i set out for my guesthouse and the streets are really empty by now, pushkar goes to bed pretty early sometimes. i hear a motorbike behind me so i step to the side, walking quickly so as not to attract the wrong kind of attention. the bike puls to a stop right in front of me, and low and behold, my guesthouse friend. mr. filter-ji offers me a ride home, cow poo-pie shoe and all.
the next day was just as sweet. early morning to the studio, on my way a little barbershop full of men lean out the doorway and yell "happy new year! happy new year!" i laughed and told them that it was christmas and new years was next week. they shrugged and started yelling "merry christmas! merry christmas!" and one guy says to his client in the chair, "do you know what christmas is?"
we had a big family breakfast with all the food left over from the night before. this time the gypsys came in to help us eat, more music more dancing...i really wish i could say how perfect the day was.
christmas night we had a pizza party at colleenas house and watched a movie, did henna, called my mom and dad, talked more about dancing. walked home through the ghats looking at the sikent lake and the massive stars overhead, and curled up in my creaky indian bed with my fuzzy wuzzy blanket. yup a pretty perfect christmas for me.
but really life, as she usually does, served me up the prettiest slice of cake with all the frosting and piles of flowers.
let me tell you more. i wrote a sad blog, and then went to hunt for desert for the dance crew. i pouted and got a little wet around the eye lashes, and then made it back to the studio. in our little slice of heaven was my odissi family crammed into a kitchen with a gas powered camping stove. we all crouched on the floor and peeled vegtables, made a batch of frosting by stringing everyones memory together, and just had fun.
sunday nights are reserved at the studio for religiouse hindu music and song, so at 6pm our amazing drum master and song master started their thing. travelers and locals alike piled into the little room and we served chai. the feeling of peace and love was all surrounding. the music, as always, was beautiful. the song teacher here has the most amazing voice and i am lucky enough to hear him sing 7days a week.
i sat between some people i recognize from the market, and one of the dancers and really was able just to absorbe the moment and the sound, to think of my time that i've spent wandering, to think of what i am doing now. it really was more than i could ask.
once the singing was done and the conversations closed we brought out a feast that was being put together in the kitchen. the whole school sat down and ate together. small presents were exchange and colleena gave me the most beautiful shawl to keep me warm, since i didn't have a warm one!
then we put on the tunes and listened to turkish 7's and 9's and were given lessons on turkisk romany dance. so amazing! i know where my next trip will be!
we stayed so late that we were locked into the temple and it took us 30mins to wake up the gate keeper. the streets were pretty empty buythe time we parted ways, unless of course you count the dogs and the cows fighting over the scraps from the day. it happened that while i was giving kimberly, another bay area bellydancer, a good night hug a big ol' cow came up and butted me in the back! good thing the mother didn't have horns because it hit me pretty good, kimberly screamed and ran away dragging me with her right into a big pile of cow shit. the poo oozed up over the sides of my floppers and stuck to my foot! oh it was so gross and warm. but really i didn't care, it made me laugh.
so then i set out for my guesthouse and the streets are really empty by now, pushkar goes to bed pretty early sometimes. i hear a motorbike behind me so i step to the side, walking quickly so as not to attract the wrong kind of attention. the bike puls to a stop right in front of me, and low and behold, my guesthouse friend. mr. filter-ji offers me a ride home, cow poo-pie shoe and all.
the next day was just as sweet. early morning to the studio, on my way a little barbershop full of men lean out the doorway and yell "happy new year! happy new year!" i laughed and told them that it was christmas and new years was next week. they shrugged and started yelling "merry christmas! merry christmas!" and one guy says to his client in the chair, "do you know what christmas is?"
we had a big family breakfast with all the food left over from the night before. this time the gypsys came in to help us eat, more music more dancing...i really wish i could say how perfect the day was.
christmas night we had a pizza party at colleenas house and watched a movie, did henna, called my mom and dad, talked more about dancing. walked home through the ghats looking at the sikent lake and the massive stars overhead, and curled up in my creaky indian bed with my fuzzy wuzzy blanket. yup a pretty perfect christmas for me.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
wax on, wax off
day #4 of my intensive dance course. i woke up this morning and really just wanted to stay in bed. all this time loafing in thailand has really done nothing for my stamina, unless of course it is the ability to sit in one place and drink for beer for hours. that one i've become great at. pushkar is however, and thankfully, a dry town, so no drinking. i mean you can find it in underground markets along with eegs and weed. funny combination huh.
well i did manage to rouse myself from my fuzzy wuzzy blanket and throw on my dancing clothes. i stopped and had my morning juice, then stopped and had my morning chai, mmmm fresh oj and fresh chai.
i made it through morning stepping class and am feeling more and more like the karate kid. i am learning strange stretches and hand motions, completely out of context. i'm not sure of their order or purpose but i am hoping that one day soon Guruji (my teacher) will suddenly challange me to a battle and i'll be able to bust out the "fast speedy" moves and be kicking some Odissi ass. or maybe i won't.
also i have to report that i am having the worst luck with digital cameras here. i've been trying to load photos, and been unlucky, and then yesterday a computer wrapped its jaws around my little memory card and wouldn't let go. it had to be illegaly disconnected and now the card, and ALL my india photos are gone.
i had to hunt around town, Pushkar is small, for a new card for my camera. i'm hanging onto the old card in hopes that the computer geeks that love me can rescue the lost Taj Mahal shots. poo to me and digital cameras.
so new card, and then i'll see if i want to load new photos, you all may have to wait for the 7hour slide show i'm going to tour around to each house on my return. veggie cocktail weiners for all, and little american flags for some.
as some of you may be wondering, christmas here is simply all night techno music parties at certain guesthouses. the day itself falls on a school day for me, so while you are unwrapping your gifts think of my little feet trying to slap the pavement over and over again.
well i did manage to rouse myself from my fuzzy wuzzy blanket and throw on my dancing clothes. i stopped and had my morning juice, then stopped and had my morning chai, mmmm fresh oj and fresh chai.
i made it through morning stepping class and am feeling more and more like the karate kid. i am learning strange stretches and hand motions, completely out of context. i'm not sure of their order or purpose but i am hoping that one day soon Guruji (my teacher) will suddenly challange me to a battle and i'll be able to bust out the "fast speedy" moves and be kicking some Odissi ass. or maybe i won't.
also i have to report that i am having the worst luck with digital cameras here. i've been trying to load photos, and been unlucky, and then yesterday a computer wrapped its jaws around my little memory card and wouldn't let go. it had to be illegaly disconnected and now the card, and ALL my india photos are gone.
i had to hunt around town, Pushkar is small, for a new card for my camera. i'm hanging onto the old card in hopes that the computer geeks that love me can rescue the lost Taj Mahal shots. poo to me and digital cameras.
so new card, and then i'll see if i want to load new photos, you all may have to wait for the 7hour slide show i'm going to tour around to each house on my return. veggie cocktail weiners for all, and little american flags for some.
as some of you may be wondering, christmas here is simply all night techno music parties at certain guesthouses. the day itself falls on a school day for me, so while you are unwrapping your gifts think of my little feet trying to slap the pavement over and over again.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
still here...
still here in pushkar.
i'm learning to NOT move my hips when i dance. to slap slap the ground with all my might but none of my body. kinda hard.
i was ambushed by a fake priest teaching me how to make a "puja" a prayer or blessing, they charge you $$$ later.
he asked about my family and i blew his mind when i told him i was an orphan that grew up in foster homes, and had none.
he later tried to get lot's of $$$ from me and then asked me on a date! shamleSSS!!!!
i'm learning to NOT move my hips when i dance. to slap slap the ground with all my might but none of my body. kinda hard.
i was ambushed by a fake priest teaching me how to make a "puja" a prayer or blessing, they charge you $$$ later.
he asked about my family and i blew his mind when i told him i was an orphan that grew up in foster homes, and had none.
he later tried to get lot's of $$$ from me and then asked me on a date! shamleSSS!!!!
Monday, December 18, 2006
just to say
for those of you following at home just a note to say i am busy.
dance is taking over every waking moment. my feet are learning their place on this earth and my legs are learning to become iron as my torso is becoming flowers. most of the time i feel like the wall clock of the cat, head, eyes and chest swinging back and forth like a pendulum going opposite ways, my feet trying to slap out patterns, M.O.R.SE. code of the soul again.
i actually acheived a little slap out of my tootsies today, much harder than you might think!
dance is taking over every waking moment. my feet are learning their place on this earth and my legs are learning to become iron as my torso is becoming flowers. most of the time i feel like the wall clock of the cat, head, eyes and chest swinging back and forth like a pendulum going opposite ways, my feet trying to slap out patterns, M.O.R.SE. code of the soul again.
i actually acheived a little slap out of my tootsies today, much harder than you might think!
Thursday, December 14, 2006
step step step
so here i am in pushkar.
i've heard so many many different things about pushkar. some people love it, some hate it. it is a small indian town surrounding one of the holy lakes in india. indians come here to bath in the waters and wash away the bad in their life. it is an all vegetarian town, no eegs even to be had, no booze either but plenty of hard drugs if you like.
at the moment the weather is quite cold and me with no jacket and only one pair of socks. as i've been on the go for the past week and really not paying attention to myself my body has decieded to hold a strike. it isn't happy with my go go go state of living, and now has become sick in hopes of getting me to sit still.
i feel slightly awful but attended my first odissi stepping class today in a fairy tale like temple in the heart of the city.
this place is absolutly wonderful. it is like nothing i've ever seen. and there is such a hush, a calm, a peacefulness that i really don't think can be found anywhere else in the world.
i have a room for $2 a night, and am moving towards negotiations as my time here will be of some duration. it is small and shiva blue with green shutters and door. there is a rooftop fillled with pillows and places to lay and just quite nice. around the cornere from me is i believe the only Bramin temple in all of india.
i explored to town a bit but have been trying to lay low and drink lots of juice.
i was pounced on by crazy hill women that gave me awful menghi and tried to charge me $12. one of them will be my future dance teacher...
colleena is out of town but will return tomorrow, her guru is the cutest old man i've ever seen and runs all of the classes.
i have already made a group of friends, this town is filled with forgien women coming here to study and dance, it is almost like i'm at home!
i've been trying to post more pictures but having problems!!!
i've heard so many many different things about pushkar. some people love it, some hate it. it is a small indian town surrounding one of the holy lakes in india. indians come here to bath in the waters and wash away the bad in their life. it is an all vegetarian town, no eegs even to be had, no booze either but plenty of hard drugs if you like.
at the moment the weather is quite cold and me with no jacket and only one pair of socks. as i've been on the go for the past week and really not paying attention to myself my body has decieded to hold a strike. it isn't happy with my go go go state of living, and now has become sick in hopes of getting me to sit still.
i feel slightly awful but attended my first odissi stepping class today in a fairy tale like temple in the heart of the city.
this place is absolutly wonderful. it is like nothing i've ever seen. and there is such a hush, a calm, a peacefulness that i really don't think can be found anywhere else in the world.
i have a room for $2 a night, and am moving towards negotiations as my time here will be of some duration. it is small and shiva blue with green shutters and door. there is a rooftop fillled with pillows and places to lay and just quite nice. around the cornere from me is i believe the only Bramin temple in all of india.
i explored to town a bit but have been trying to lay low and drink lots of juice.
i was pounced on by crazy hill women that gave me awful menghi and tried to charge me $12. one of them will be my future dance teacher...
colleena is out of town but will return tomorrow, her guru is the cutest old man i've ever seen and runs all of the classes.
i have already made a group of friends, this town is filled with forgien women coming here to study and dance, it is almost like i'm at home!
i've been trying to post more pictures but having problems!!!
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
jaipur...
i am once again on my own, hanging out in jaipur. my frinds emily and kristina just left for the train station. we spent 2 days running around jaipur in touts so thick we never saw any famous sights. tommorw morning i jump into a bus, god help me, and i head to Pushkar.
i will be calling pushkar home for some time. it will be nice to be there, i love running around but i'm hungry to dance. i danced with some gypsys last night but to actually get to know them, get to live somehwere for more than a night or a month...it will be fun.
india is a trip. i fell like i've been placed in a bladeless blender. the center of a storm with the world chaotic around me. this place is great, i want to stay.
i will be walking around and all the sudden i am ambushed by thoughts so strong i stop in my tracks.
thoughts like, wow i'm in fucking india, this has been a dream of mine.
or wow i'm going to go study with colleena, another dream of mine.
life gives so much,,,it gives me so much.
but not all thoughts are sunshine. reminents of my old life float into my emotions, thoughts and things that are no longer me or part of me or connected to me. parts of me that are now so strange i think they are speaking to me in hindi about myself.
they are familiar, but strange, and i don't understand why they are coming to me for direction.
i\ve realized that i live life the way i travel, i wander and i wonder as i move along. i used to think this was bad. i was lead to feel that because i didn't have a dead set goal that i was defecent in somr way, that i need that to survive, to acheive.
i've achieved so much by being who i am and how i am. i thought that i would change in my travels, and i still have time, but i'm not changing, and i like who i am...
i still have time and despite my love for india it s not an easy country.
i already bought a sari so wath out when i get home, half baked white girl walking around in the states like an indian woman.
and one thing about traveling alone as a woman, i get to connect with the other women here. there is nothing like it. to find a beautiful woman that is fascinating to stare at, that is equally fascinated by me, and to catch her eye and smile only to have her smile back...such an amazing connection.
bad news though, i'm out of color film!!!!!
i will be calling pushkar home for some time. it will be nice to be there, i love running around but i'm hungry to dance. i danced with some gypsys last night but to actually get to know them, get to live somehwere for more than a night or a month...it will be fun.
india is a trip. i fell like i've been placed in a bladeless blender. the center of a storm with the world chaotic around me. this place is great, i want to stay.
i will be walking around and all the sudden i am ambushed by thoughts so strong i stop in my tracks.
thoughts like, wow i'm in fucking india, this has been a dream of mine.
or wow i'm going to go study with colleena, another dream of mine.
life gives so much,,,it gives me so much.
but not all thoughts are sunshine. reminents of my old life float into my emotions, thoughts and things that are no longer me or part of me or connected to me. parts of me that are now so strange i think they are speaking to me in hindi about myself.
they are familiar, but strange, and i don't understand why they are coming to me for direction.
i\ve realized that i live life the way i travel, i wander and i wonder as i move along. i used to think this was bad. i was lead to feel that because i didn't have a dead set goal that i was defecent in somr way, that i need that to survive, to acheive.
i've achieved so much by being who i am and how i am. i thought that i would change in my travels, and i still have time, but i'm not changing, and i like who i am...
i still have time and despite my love for india it s not an easy country.
i already bought a sari so wath out when i get home, half baked white girl walking around in the states like an indian woman.
and one thing about traveling alone as a woman, i get to connect with the other women here. there is nothing like it. to find a beautiful woman that is fascinating to stare at, that is equally fascinated by me, and to catch her eye and smile only to have her smile back...such an amazing connection.
bad news though, i'm out of color film!!!!!
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